The Best Trade You've Ever Made

Im not sure if I can actually brag about this or not but I have traded many vehicles in my lifetime. Each car was a better (read: more expensive) model than before. 

And in some weird way I felt that the car that I drove validated my social standing. The better car I had the better person I was. I suppose that I living as if I had a better car I was better than you. It was not a purposeful pursuit. I didn't draw out the road map of my life to achieve this. I didn't even know I was living this way until the day that God told it was time to trade my car...again. 

I was driving a gorgeous Pontiac - the last Pontiac ever made. It housed a Corvette engine and was fully loaded. It was a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. A dream that included a very high price tag and it was that price tag that led to a huge wake up call.

We had a missionary come to my church and I felt compelled to give. But I couldn't. I just made the payment on my car and it left me with no money left. I was broken and I knew I had to make a change. But I sure did resist it. I justified keeping the car in any way that I could. But I finally relented. 

So I made the trade and I can still say that I miss that car but I don't miss what it represented: a pursuit. 

I had set out to live my life pursuing that which rusts and fades away. I was searching for treasures that would never last. In trading that car I traded for a new destiny. It started my new journey toward living a life that pursues what Jesus wants and not what I want. 

It was the best trade I had ever made. 

And perhaps you need to make a trade too. Maybe for you it is not a car. Maybe its an addiction. Perhaps an insecurity. Maybe its a hobby. Maybe only you know what it is. 

And maybe, just maybe, if you trade that one thing for the something better that God has in store than maybe you'll see what I saw - that I didn't really want what I had in the first place. What I really wanted was what Jesus had all along. I just hadn't seen it yet.

Becoming A Parent Who Prays

I can count on one hand the people I would call if I desperately needed prayer. And although that sounds like an indictment of the poor spiritual culture that defines American spirituality I am thankful for that handful. 

As the title of this post suggests I count my parents as those few who stand in the gap or intercede or whatever other phrase there is to describe people who just cry out to God on the behalf of others. More times than I can remember I have asked them to pray. More times than I know of I am sure they were praying for me anyway. 

I can look at the state of my world and unwaveringly declare that we need more parents who pray. 

But we also need more children who pray. 

I guess you could look at it this way: Everyone is either a parent or a child, therefore there is a need for you to pray.

I asked my mom to look back over her life and pinpoint the moments when she felt that she started down the path to becoming a prayer-warrior. And although she shied away from the title (all true prayer-warriors do) she came to person. Not a time, a crisis, a revelation. A person. It wasn't a seven-step seminar or a booklet my mom read that set her on the path. It was a person who took time to teach the importance of prayer.

In the age of the information super-highway it is striking to not be taking back to a book or to an article in a current magazine. And I must admit that writing a blog about the subject matter in light of the details seems a little ironic as well. So I will refrain from giving you steps or pointers or hints at how to become a better pray-er. 

I will only point you to another example that I find quite familiar to the story of my mother's prayer mentor. 

It is in Luke 11:1-13. The disciples wanted to learn to be better pray-ers. (And perhaps you do as well) So they went to the one who they knew prayed the most and asked for help. Jesus was always sneaking away to pray and the disciples knew it and they were wise to ask Jesus for help. 

Is there someone you can ask that question to? "Can you teach me to pray?" I hope so. I pray so. And I pray that you will have the courage to go and ask them to mentor you, to coach you. And I hope that you learn not only how to pray but how important it is that you pray. 

Dealing With Disappointment: People Edition

You have not lived long if you have never dealt with disappointment. Disappointment is the sum of expectations and  frail humanity. It happens across almost every boulevard in the suburbs of life. It should never stop you from stepping off the curb but it should remind you to look both ways before you cross.

Being let down by a friend is much different than being let down by your favorite teacher or athlete. There is a different relational connection that makes the disappointment feel more real, more painful. It is a true statement that the closer you are to a person the harder the pain you feel when you are let down. I needn't waste any more space on convincing you of this so let's move to the real question at hand:

What do I do when someone disappoints me?

Before you consider me some great source of all relational wisdom let me assure you that the very best answer I can come up with is not all that wise or deep or even functional. My best answer is :

It all depends on the situation.


Every disappointment arrives with the necessary task of contextualization. That is that you need to study the disappointment in light of all the circumstances. Its called gaining perspective. And too many times have I witnessed harsh and sharp reactions based on quick assessments and the unfortunate but predictable outcome is that the relationship is broken and never repaired. A friend is lost forever (though sometimes this is the best result)

If a proper framework has been established and it is possible an restoration process should begin. Most of the time by the disappointed party starting off by saying "I'm sorry." But I would like to interject that even if the "sorry" never comes there still has to be a forgiveness that takes place - especially if you say that you follow Christ. A Christian who can't forgive has most likely forgotten about all that he/she has been forgiven by Christ.

I would like to also dissuade people from being the judge, jury, and executioner. Most are not good at it and when people attempt things they are not good at the result is funny videos on YouTube or the destruction of something of value. And I do strongly believe that the only way to fight the human nature of being the triumvirate of justice is to consult the Father in prayer - to seek the perspective of the Father. You know, the only one with ultimate perspective. And you know what I am about to say here. Too often  Jesus' perspective is the last one sought. We take our skewed perspectives to Jesus and expect him to bless our motives and actions.

I guess what I am trying to say is that disappointment offers you and me the opportunity to greatly seek the council of God and maybe even learn to yield ourselves more fully to Him. When life brings you lemons...

Failing

There is no shortage of examples of people failing. There are no shortages of examples of times when you have failed.

Failing is the nasty part of living that we try our hardest to avoid but always end up cruelly meeting. 

But knowing that people fail should change the way we view the fallen, right? I could never bring myself to say that we should just "get over it" when people fail because failure brings hurt into our lives. We have placed a basic trust in our fellow humans - whether in leadership or not - that once its violated it just leaves an emptiness that, well, that is somewhat difficult to describe. But based on our own experience shouldn't we have expected it?

Let me answer that question: No.

We should never expect people to fail us for it is that hope of success that drives humanity forward. The hope of a successful marriage is what allows us to forgive our spouses again. The hope that the next President isn't going to lie is what propels to vote again. The hope that the next time we won't get hurt is what leads us to take the chance of the next time.

My English teacher always spoke of the "willing suspension of disbelief".  It was what allowed the reader to believe in the story despite some unrealistic propositions. Its like believing that Rappunzel's scalp was actually strong enough to hold a persons weight without any pain at all. You rationally know its not true but you release your rights to rational thought for benefit of the story.

Expectations are kind of the same way. You know that someone is going to hurt you but you willingly release the thought for just the chance that the story turns out to be grand. And its worth mentioning that we must be able to release the doubts we have about ourselves as well. We know we will fail and mess up. But the next time you have to release that thought so that maybe, just maybe it turns out different this time.

Without that maybe life is pretty boring and actually not worth putting forth any effort. But maybe gives us hope that this time might be better. This time I'll fall in love. This leader will lead us to the promised land. This story is worth seeing how it ends.

Truth Feels Good in a Belly Full of Lies

"And she wore the lie like a coat for she found it warm, familiar, and comfortable. Though destructive and  harmful she fastened the buttons tight an relied on the false reality to keep her together on through to the next day. 

At times the coat became badly tattered and she could see the truth through the holes. To the seamstress she went over and over and had her lie mended for it was always too comfortable to ever let go for good."

And I suppose that all great works of fiction are birthed out of a story that we have told ourselves so many times that, even to us, they have become true. This falseness usually starts as a justification for a wrong that we committed or was committed against us. And we let the truth go, slipping off into that light which we refuse to believe. 

I have not lived long enough to understand why we do this to ourselves. Why do we let the lie reign in the place of truth? I can begin to understand the how, the process by which we elevate the lie in place of the truth. But why? 

It is foolish to sit here and point a finger at anyone who has done this in their life for I would be missing the fingers pointing back at me. And for every lie I have rid my life I of I often wonder how I foolish I could have been to let the lie begin in the first place. I look at some of the absurd lies I have believed and am literally shocked that I let them take root. Even worse, I suppose, is that I defended those lies as vigorously as I would that the sky is blue. 

Despite my bewilderment I have gained some clarity on the issue of living lies. The clarity is not some deep thought or majestic statement of powerful prose. Its just a simple realization that  truth feels good in a belly full of lies. Like a medicine to calm a sour stomach the truth reestablishes health and vitality to the body and the spirit. 

The only that suffers when truth is accepted is pride and I am ok with that. 

Fascinated again.

It has become a ritual in my house that my daughter wakes up, smiles at her daddy, and says "Daddy, Elmo Blankie?"

As in, "Can we watch Adventure's of Elmo in Grouchland again, for the 264th consecutive day?"

It's a great movie as far as two-year-olds go, I guess. And the first couple times I actually enjoyed it myself. But after watching it every day (and sometimes, twice) it has gotten a little stale, a little predictable.

It ends the same way, every time. 

But Cassandra is fascinated by it. It holds her intrigue that it may be that this time Elmo fails in his quest. That the world as we know it will end. That evil might just triumph over good this time.

Its not that she doesn't know the plot, she tells us about it constantly. It's not that anything new happens. It's just a pure fascination.

And I'm jealous. I want my life to be full of fascination - especially in the things I do every day. I want washing dishes to be filled with purpose and wonder (ain't gonna happen) and I want joy to over flow in the midst of the humdrum work day.

And I really want the fascination, the expectation of the marvelous every time I walk into church or open my Bible. Most times its there. Most days I look forward to spending my quiet time with Jesus and then celebrating in church on Sundays. But I would be lying to you if I said that I had the same enthusiasm as my daughter shows for a muppet.

So how do we, you and I, get to that point of joy and fascination? Well It comes through one of my least favorite words - discipline.

We must work our way into the feeling of joy and fascination. We put all this energy into establishing a habit but once that habit is set we then become free to enjoy the habit.

When I played basketball I worked so very hard and practiced hours every day. I was creating muscle memory so that when the games - the real fun - started I could enjoy the sport without worrying or laboring in the process of dribbling a ball or shooting a free-throw.

The practice, though mundane and repetitive, became joy.

I suppose that is the only way to be fascinated over and over again.