Dealing With Disappointment: People Edition

You have not lived long if you have never dealt with disappointment. Disappointment is the sum of expectations and  frail humanity. It happens across almost every boulevard in the suburbs of life. It should never stop you from stepping off the curb but it should remind you to look both ways before you cross.

Being let down by a friend is much different than being let down by your favorite teacher or athlete. There is a different relational connection that makes the disappointment feel more real, more painful. It is a true statement that the closer you are to a person the harder the pain you feel when you are let down. I needn't waste any more space on convincing you of this so let's move to the real question at hand:

What do I do when someone disappoints me?

Before you consider me some great source of all relational wisdom let me assure you that the very best answer I can come up with is not all that wise or deep or even functional. My best answer is :

It all depends on the situation.


Every disappointment arrives with the necessary task of contextualization. That is that you need to study the disappointment in light of all the circumstances. Its called gaining perspective. And too many times have I witnessed harsh and sharp reactions based on quick assessments and the unfortunate but predictable outcome is that the relationship is broken and never repaired. A friend is lost forever (though sometimes this is the best result)

If a proper framework has been established and it is possible an restoration process should begin. Most of the time by the disappointed party starting off by saying "I'm sorry." But I would like to interject that even if the "sorry" never comes there still has to be a forgiveness that takes place - especially if you say that you follow Christ. A Christian who can't forgive has most likely forgotten about all that he/she has been forgiven by Christ.

I would like to also dissuade people from being the judge, jury, and executioner. Most are not good at it and when people attempt things they are not good at the result is funny videos on YouTube or the destruction of something of value. And I do strongly believe that the only way to fight the human nature of being the triumvirate of justice is to consult the Father in prayer - to seek the perspective of the Father. You know, the only one with ultimate perspective. And you know what I am about to say here. Too often  Jesus' perspective is the last one sought. We take our skewed perspectives to Jesus and expect him to bless our motives and actions.

I guess what I am trying to say is that disappointment offers you and me the opportunity to greatly seek the council of God and maybe even learn to yield ourselves more fully to Him. When life brings you lemons...